I Used To
9.7.16 | 4:06 AM | 0comments
ever wonder why I always updating my blog in the middle of the night?
Like most of my blogpost is published in 3am... 4am... and such.
well, the answer is, I don't know the reason too :)
Back to the topic, since I just scrolling to my old albums, I kept wondering until now, that I used to be that way.
I used to be with this person.
I used to do this.
I used to have this.
I used to hate this.
I used to love this.
All this "I Used To.." things is really stuck in my head right now.
and it is the reason why I am so excited to updating about it.
While I'm scrolling my old albums, first of all, I can see that ..
I used to NOT wearing a makeup. But looking at the "me" now, I can say, I love make up more than I should (including the high heels also).
I used to hate Koreas drama/song, but now, I loved it so much.
I used to eat chicken. But for now, I'm allergic to it. (yeah, its pretty weird, I know)
I used to have a lot of guy bestfriend. But now, I dont even think of having one. (sad, but I had enough)
I used to built a relationship with random people. Looking at myself now, I dont even trust any guy.
Or even, I used to have a strong friendship with this and that person, but now, they all gone.
I used to be so harsh to people when I communicate. But now, I don't even feel like to be harsh to people.
I wish I could list them all out, but I just don't want to waste my time. It kills me more to remind all those thing back then. I do miss to be that "I Used to"person.
Sometimes, in the back of my head, I want to have that "I Used to" moment again.
In my very own opinion, some of my reason is maybe because of my surrounding that has changed me into the "me" now.
Or maybe it is me, the one who decided to leave and just don't give a damn about it all anymore.
I just don't know. I do miss all of it. the old me. but I got to love the "me" now.
I didn't say that I hate what I am today. Just that when you looking back at all those things. You want to have it all again. The "me" now is not very socialize like the old time. much more the quiet-est one in the class & in my surrounding. I remember I used to shout and loud about stupid things but that also slowly disappear.
sometimes I wonder that the "me" now is not the real me. But I do feel, this time is my "inner me" who decided to pop out more rather than my old time which my "outside me" decided to pop out first.
But I don't regret for my past and my presence.
I just miss em' all.
I am so glad that the person who were in my past, still stuck & stay with me till now.
I do pray they will forever stay. I know they do realize my transformation slowly but they accept me for who I am back then and even now. I appreciate every single one of them so much.
To my friends & family who accepted me in whatever condition I were, Thank you. Thank you for being you and accepting me.